whoaaaaa.

there is nothing that can surprise me anymore as far as how complex and connected the world is to itself.  how fate works and how coincidences occur.  and no one could ever make me believe that those "whoa..." moments aren't actually "god" moments.  because there's no explanation other than a higher being at work controlling the universe.  the reason i know this to be true is because i have been deeply involved in one of the hugest "whoaaaaaaa" stories in the history of being.  and because i want you to believe me im going to tell it to you.  i'll keep it as short as i can because i know you should probably be cleaning the bathroom or filling out a spreadsheet or cooking supper.
i am a dog lover.  not a "aww, thats a cute dog pic you posted on social media" dog lover, but a "my dog is my favorite child" dog lover.  like when i go to someones house, i want to pet their dog for 5 minutes before i say hi to the people, kinda dog lover.  ive always had a dog.  my whole life.  but i wanted a little foofy lap dog.  and my husband didnt.  so we had this sort of tug-o-war between us for years.... until he eventually caved.  and we rescued "doodle the wonder poodle" .  it was instant love for all invloved (except the husband, he probably only let me get him so i would be quiet).  doodle was part of the family and even grumpy husband loved him lots.  i think everyone knows that i lost him.  we went to my sisters wedding in florida february 5, 2012 and that is the last day i saw him.  before we left i prayed protection over him. that he would be safe and content and no one would miss each other so much we couldnt function. (dont judge me, hes my favorite kid, remember?)  it was that day that he was let out (just like usual) but he never came back home. i wont go into any further detail but if for some reason you want to read about my deepest anguish, heres that post. (fun times)
http://theffectoflove.blogspot.com/2013/02/doodle-wonder-poodle.html
i spent alot of time seeking god during this time and alot of time on facebook trying to find clues as to where he could be. trying to spread the word and his photo so that maybe someone would find him and bring him home...
i didnt find doodle, but i did find bridgette.  this is the story of the biggest thing i ever did for jesus i guess.  its pretty powerful, and im sure you know it, but just in case...
http://theffectoflove.blogspot.com/2013/02/something-big.html
yup. cool, huh.  so fast forward to september 24, 2013. the day i gave my left kidney to bridgette. i didnt expect my story to end there, but it kinda did.  i lost my dog, that search led me to "lose" an organ, in the midst of all that, i lost my church due to unfortunate circumstances where people (me included) got caught up in themselves and forgot about the real reason for the church. it was a really dark time for me.  the fall and winter of 2013 was not my friend.  i still missed my dog, i didnt miss my kidney, but i did miss the way my life was.  the comfort of routine.
ok so here we are, october 2014.  life as usual.  kids in school, me trying to be a successful photographer (which is hard because im not a good business person) trying to keep the house clean (thats a big joke) and supper on the table (drive thru again people, we are too busy to be home to eat) and all the while, trying to be on fire for jesus. which, quite frankly, has been a little hard lately...
a dear friend was going through a tough time so i was spending alot of extra time praying for her and her situation.  god answered prayers and blessed my friend, and in the midst of her blessings, he saw the need to bless me too.
i got a text wednesday night from a lady who had just delivered a rescue dog to a family.  she said they had a dog already and she was certain it was my doodle.  my heart skipped a beat but i didnt have any hopes up because i actually got lots of these kind of messages.  my whole town has been on doodle watch since he has been gone.  so the lady asked me a couple questions about him and then she sent me a pic of the dog she saw.  a pic of my doodle.  my heart lept from my chest, i dont think i breathed for a whole minute.  it was him.  it was doodle.  after almost 2 whole years it was my doodle.  and he looked goood.  a little plumper than i remembered and sitting on somebodys bed.  a million thoughts were racing through my mind and i was flooded with emotion.  so i started to pray about it.  pray that i did the right thing. pray that it all worked out. pray that, i dont know, i didnt know, so i prayed.  the lady told me that doodle was in a great home with great people.  she said they had just gotten him from a family member that wasnt able to care for him anymore.  i felt great peace knowing he was safe. and alive, and happy.  so i went to bed.  in the morning after all the kids went off to school, i decided to facebook message the lady who had doodle. her name is "J".  i just asked if she wouldnt mind telling me where she got him.  J is the sweetest lady and was very willing to work with me.  i asked if i could just come see him.  she let me.  she let me and the kids come to her house and see doodle.  it was MAGNIFICENT.  he remembered me. he liked me. he wanted me to hold him.  i cried.  alot.  i cried two years worth of ache out.  it felt amazing to look at that dog and exhale. in fact, we all cried.  it was intense.  as sure as i was that it was him, J wanted to make 100% sure it really was doodle.  at this point it was just my word against her family members, who was not budging on her story... which was very different from mine.  i was at peace with doodle being there with J.  in fact, i wasnt even quite sure that i would take him from J.  i knew the pain i felt when i lost him and i didnt wish it on a soul.  i didnt want to hurt J and her family.  i prayed about that too. i prayed that god would put doodle where he needed to be.  so the kids and i left him there that day.  i knew what a HUGE and powerful testimony that dog had been to so many through the whole kidney situation and i didnt want to ruin my witness, or taint the story god had wrote.  so J and i decided that we would work together to find out doodles history and where he came from and be sure sure sure sure that he really was doodle, and not just a eerily similar random dog.
so for days i combed facebook. i asked people questions, i researched. i prayed.  i cried.  i wanted that dog in my arms so bad i couldnt hardly stand it, but i already loved J and i didnt want to hurt her or her precious family..... we looked into vet records, we chased rabbit trails all over the county.  it wasnt until early saturday morning that i found the missing puzzle piece.  a photo of the person J got doodle from.  it was the photo that put everything together and made perfect sense of it all.  i wont share who was in the photo or why it made sense, because honestly, i dont care how J got doodle. i dont care how the person that gave J doodle got him.  the only thing that matters is that J believed me.  and she wanted me to have dood back.  so i went back to her house, and i got him. i got the dood.  i got my baby. through a series of events that dont seem like much, doodle and my family were reunited.  they werent circumstances, they werent "chance"  they were each and every moment a piece of the puzzle that god was intricately forming.
the flood of emotions that has continued to course through me in this past week have been something i could never explain.  the immensity of the situation is crippling.  the awe i have for the complexity of gods plan is divine.  i honestly feel like god revealed himself a little bit more to me through this. like he let me have a peek at his face.  the comfort that i feel when i look at doodle is insurmountable.  there IS a god who loves me.  he gave me back my dog.  please grasp this concept.  every single human being is BORN a lost soul.  its up to US to decide to be found.  god intends for each of us to be with him in his family, but we have to want to.  the level of celebration that is in my soul over the feeling of doodle not being lost anymore is insignificant compared to the elation that Christ has when one of us calls on his name and says, "rescue me.  deliver me.  save me.  find me."  we dont have to be lost.
i know that god gave doodle back for a reason. i know that He isnt done with me or my story.  if nothing else, i have a new friend in J.  if nothing else, my town sees an answered prayer of mine.  if nothing else, i have been blessed.  i am refreshed, renewed.  life isnt perfect, but with this huge dose of  "see, i havent forgotten you my child. i love you and i will prove it to you." from my heavenly father, i have a whole new sense of "bring it on!"
thank you to each of you that stood by me in prayer for doodle all this time.  thank you to the people that walked with me through my sadness, through my surgery, through my recovery, through my wandering in the desert here lately.  my gratitude to the ones who have celebrated with me this past week.  i feel like my whole town loves doodle and i really do feel like we all got him back.
thank you god, for my answered prayer.  i wont ever forget.