setting a trend and writing about things that society pressures me to do that causes me a bit of stress. im not writing to bash myself or attract waves of pity although it seems as if i am.... hmm. ha!
i will freely admit my faults and short comings if i think it could shed light to one single human, even if that human is just myself.
with that being said i will fall into the subject of lent. lent, i have been told, is for catholics, of which i am not. lent is old fashioned and this is a new era, says people. lent is when holy rollers flaunt their sacrifice like little "i love jesus more than you do" flag, lent is when i sneak in my "get ready for the bathing suit diet"... lent has been explained to me, countless times, by several different sources. i explain lent to my children. to me, lent is a time that we sacrifice something that we spend the most time or effort doing that ISNT godly and kindgom building. its a season that we give up something that is hard to live without so that when we would reach for that "thing" we feel a twinge of "ohhhhh man, darn it" and take a cleansing breath and realize, jesus died an unspeakably brutal and devastating death after living the most sacrificial life in the first place so that i can be a filthy sin ridden human and in the end receive the gift of eternal life in paradise that i will never deserve. (longest sentence in the history of sentences.) so really, lent is a big deal. and its not just for catholics. its for people that adore jesus christ and want to show him in a real way for themselves, that they are humbled and aware of the intensity of the ultimate sacrifice.
i will speak for myself only when i say that it is easy to cheapen lent. "everyone else is doing it so i have to" "i cant let beula out lent me" "ill give up something in public but find the lenten loophole so i can get breaks" "ill give up sugar because thats what i always give up" "ill just give up green beans, that will be easy"
part of the purpose of lent is to fill up the gap of what you gave up as well. sure, we can give up video games, but what do we do in that time that we would be playing minecraft? when i give up sugar the first week is death. i must drown myself in the bible and prayer because im going through withdrawl... sugar detox, and if i dont turn to jesus i will surely die. (sugar is more addictive than cocaine people) but after the complete hysteria is over for me and i become adjusted to the sugar free life, i dont need jesus as much anymore. i can handle it on my own, so, then its just a "thing", like just being a vegetarian or something. (which is a whole nother lent deal for sure) what kind of dumby am i?! geez. the fact that god even likes me is mind blowing, but that he WANTS me and forgives me and chooses to use me and all that is unfathomable.
so i take lent. i start out in the depths of despair going through hell living without my vice, leaning on jesus, getting all close to him and fulfilled and spiritually high, then i slowly revert back to the regular old (lame) me, just sugarless. so why even participate in lent...
wikipedia says its a solemn religious observance. that its the preparation of a believer through prayer and self denial (amongst other things like atonement and penance that i don't know what it means exactly) ok, so preparation for what? it starts 6 weeks before easter. its over on easter sunday. (aka the day i purge on sugar) so christian people (people who believe jesus came as a baby, lived, died on a cross for our sins then rose from the dead and went up to heaven and is now preparing paradise for us) follow jesus' example of sacrifice for 6 weeks then on the day that He rose from the dead (easter) we all stop sacrificing. well that makes perfect sense..... right? so the six weeks is preparation for the resurrection of Jesus. so we purge our lives of what we have made an idol (an idol is something we worship that isnt jesus. you give me a pan of brownies and i will show you some worship people, im just saying....) . we fill the hole of said idol with relationship with christ. so that this time of reverent sacrifice is us paralleling our way of living to the way that jesus lived. dude had no house. no coat to wear on chilly days, no backpack full of snacks. no transportation other than his own two legs. he lived day to day. on faith alone. he relied on his heavenly father to provide him with PEOPLE to care for him and feed him and give him shelter. he travelled. he wore his sandals out. he spread the beautiful news of the grace of god. he did this at a young age. please dont take anything i say hear as absolute truth because i really have no educated clue, but i think he moved out of his mommas house when he was about 26 years old and died when he was in his early 30's. if someone knows this fact for real please tell me right away. so he sacrificed for longer than 6 weeks. maybe for 6 years (debatable). so i did a little googling and here it is. the 6 weeks is actually broken down to mimic 40 days. (its actually longer than 40 days but theres rules like "sundays dont count because you arent supposed to do certain things on the sabbath yadda yadda -lenten loophole-)
before jesus began his ministry he went to the desert alone and fasted for 40 days. like, didnt eat. anything. for real. (please jesus dont make me do this) there is alot of smart people information that goes into all of the "six week" "40 day" "old testament" rules and such but i will just use my non smart person words to say that... jesus fasted in the desert for 40 days to PREPARE himself for the whole reason god sent him to earth in the first place. he fasted so that he could put his whole attention and focus on god and god alone. he didnt fast in his moms house. he didnt fast in his town. he didnt even fast in the neighboring town, or the forest. he fasted in a place where there is ZERO anything but the ground and the air. ok so no distractions. none. like, none. desert. do you know this? i am just now really wrapping my mind around it. every day is exactly the same. no different scenery or anything. no food source, no water source. just dry sand and hot air. (probably freezing cold at night) and he knew what his purpose on earth was. to die. i have to stop for a minute.
(i wish beth moore had a hotline)
ok, jesus was baptised. then he went immediatly to the desert to fast (for 40 days). then he embarked on his ministry of empowering followers to continue on with his testimony after his death. then he died, then on the third day he rose from the dead, met with his disciples really quick for one last meal together, then he went up to heaven right in front of his disciples faces. (this is all in the bible, read the book of Matthew)
so. if you knew what your lifes' whole purpose was. what would you do to prepare for it?
according to the book of matthew (28:16-20) our sole purpose in life is to go and make disciples. and since we are on the subject of the number one thing we should do, lets mention the number one command. its also in matthew. chapter 22 verse 34 through 40. we were made to love. true story. the first way we are to love is whole heartedly with all of our bodies and minds and strength, we are to love the Lord our God. and the second part of the love command is to love the people we share our world with. so that is our life purpose. to tell eveyone about jesus and to love their faces off while we do it. now, take 2 seconds (because thats plenty of time) to think of just one person that you in fact, do not love. at all. like, you would like to throat punch them. in public. twice. ok stop thinking about them. seriously, i know throat punching sounds glorious but stop. ha! ok, you were called to love that person. with every fiber of your being. could you go to their house right this second and pay their mortgage for them? cook them a steak dinner? wash their feet for them? sacrifice all you have to give them whatever they wanted? i doubt it. im pretty sure jesus knew his life purpose (to die for us) was going to be so hard that he wouldnt be able to do it. he grew up in a small town where his momma got pregnant before she was married. she told everyone it was by the holy spirit. i bet those people didnt believe her. they probably made fun of her. treated her like cheap lieing floozy. the kids jesus grew up around probably didnt like him. the bible says that jesus wasnt very pretty. (Isaiah 53:2) so im sure he didnt have a bunch of little giddy girls chasing after him. this being said, he had a pretty good idea of what the people he was going to die to save were like. yucky. like me, imaging throat punching someone. he had to prepare himself to save me. because im not worth being saved. he went to that desert to be so filled with god his father that when he went from town to town and was scoffed at, jeered at, rejected and denied, that he wouldnt throw up his hands and say "FORGET IT! ill die, but not for her. not that one. anyone else but her". and it took 40 whole days to purge those thoughts from his mind. 40 whole days to become equipped for his ministry. 40 whole days to prepare. (with no breaks on sundays)
i freely admit i have been in a desert. not of my own choice per say. i was called to leave my home, my family (figuratively speaking) my life.. i was called to follow god. so i did. i havent been taking advantage of my time in the desert. instead i have been standing in one spot with my head in the sand (insert token ostrich photo here) hiding from the inevitable. my calling. its a pretty predictable pattern in my life. nice. i think that this time though, this lent, its different. i think im finally mature enough to see it with seeing eyes, eyes like moses had (deuteronomy 34:7- God preserved moses' eyesight so that when the time came for him to look out over the promised land, he could see every part of it) i can see that lent isnt just a tradition. its a choice. its a choice to prepare myself for the ministry god has for my life. not only the lifelong command of making disciples, but the seasonal ministries that he has for me. so this 6th day of march in the year 2014, i publicly remove my pink head from the sand and i look upwards. to refuel my relationship with God my Father, and prepare myself to love the people i want to throat punch. ha! this season of lent will be one of as many less distractions as i can possibly muster. no instagram. no phone games. no things that suck the minutes out of my hours. a season of my bible in my hands and questions on my lips. a season of a student hungry for the words of the lord that will equip me for whats next. a season of time with my little family. a season to prepare my heart for the celebration of the life, death, and resurrection of my Lord and Savior. a season to allow god to prepare me for what HE wants for me. because even though lent is about US sacrificing, it was never supposed to be about us actually. always Him. so let lent begin, and don't forget the brownies...
No comments:
Post a Comment